#2 The Difference Between Alone & Lonely

What rewatching an old show taught me about love and being known..

Loneliness isn’t about being alone. It’s about being unseen, even when someone is sitting right beside you.

Tonight, rewatching Younger on Netflix—a show about a 40-year-old woman pretending to be 26, caught between Charles, the age-appropriate publisher, and Josh, the free-spirited 26-year-old tattoo artist—I found myself seeing it with new eyes. Back then, I thought Charles was the ideal: stable, accomplished, the kind of man I should want. Now, I see him differently: guarded, stubborn, unable to truly connect. The kind of partner who leaves you lonelier than being single ever could.

For years, I carried that same kind of loneliness in relationships. Love existed, but connection didn’t. Words fell flat. Being together felt like being apart. I used to think that was normal.

It’s only now, standing in the present, that I realize how different love can feel. Today, I don’t feel lonely. I feel seen. I feel connected. I’ve discovered what it means to be loved by a best friend, someone I can rely on, count on, call at any moment. Even across distance, I don’t feel abandoned. The miles don’t create emptiness; they remind me of the bond we’ve built.

Because being alone is simply time with yourself. Loneliness is the absence of being truly known.

And maybe that’s the strangest reflection of all: I have never felt less lonely in my life, even with more time spent alone.

What if loneliness has less to do with who is beside us, and more to do with whether we feel truly seen?

Let me know.

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For the everyday snippets and softer moments, come find me on instagram @tamtamvu.